Dyscalculia

I just learned that this exists and I am really upset about that because I am 100% certain that I have it. Here is a brief definition for you: 

 Dyscalculia is a specific learning disability involving innate difficulty in learning or comprehending simple arithmetic. It is akin to dyslexia and includes difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, learning maths facts, and a number of other related symptoms

Throughout my life I have always had extreme difficulty learning and understanding math. I was always way behind the rest of the class and it took me many years to get a handle on each lesson. Most of the time I did just well enough to get by. Despite this, I was put in the “advanced” math classes in junior high. I painfully struggled through one year, then the next year I did virtually nothing because there was a big group project, and even then barely squeaked by. I begged my parents to put me in the regular math class and they finally did. Even then, I had a very difficult time, and I am positive that the only reason I even passed my math classes in high school was due to daily tutoring by my sister.

 One of the hardest things about this is that I have yet to meet someone who understands what I mean when I say that I cannot do math. I do not mean “I did not do well in math classes”. I mean “I have difficulty with the most very basic math.” You know those methods used by really little kids just learning math like counting on the points of numbers like 2, 3, and 4? Yeah, that is how I count.

Here are some of the symptoms:

• Difficulty with everyday tasks like reading analog clocks
  I can read analog clocks, but it took me many years to learn. I think it took me until high school to really get this down.
• Inability to comprehend financial planning or budgeting, sometimes even at a basic level; for example, estimating the cost of the items in a shopping basket or balancing a checkbook
  Check.
• Difficulty with multiplication-tables, and subtraction-tables, addition tables, division tables, mental arithmetic, etc.
  Check. I cannot subtract or divide at all.
• Difficulty with conceptualizing time and judging the passing of time. May be chronically late or early.
  I get around this with routines. ‘I know that it takes me x amount of time to get ready if I do this specific set of things.’
• Particularly problems with differentiating between left and right
  I know my right from my left but only because I write with my right. I mostly have trouble with this if I am trying to give or receive directions.
• Might do exceptionally well in a writing related field — many authors and journalists have this disorder^{[citation needed]
  Check.}
• Difficulty navigating or mentally “turning” the map to face the current direction rather than the common North=Top usage.
  Check.
• Having particular difficulty mentally estimating the measurement of an object or distance (e.g., whether something is 10 or 20 feet (3 or 6 metres) away).
  Check.
• Often unable to grasp and remember mathematical concepts, rules, formulae, and sequences
  Check. One of my teachers thought that I was trying to give her a hard time because I kept telling her that I didn’t understand.
• Inability to concentrate on mentally intensive tasks
  I’m not sure that this is supposed to mean so I am not checking it.
• Low latent inhibition, i.e., over-sensitivity to noise, smell, light and the inability to tune out, filtering unwanted information or impressions. Might have a well-developed sense of imagination due to this (possibly as cognitive compensation to mathematical-numeric deficits)
  I am not sure about this one because I have the ability to tune out my environment to the point where I will not even realize that someone is talking. (Sorry, boyfriend)
• Mistaken recollection of names. Poor name/face retrieval. May substitute names beginning with same letter
  I have done this, but not often. I know people who have repeatedly called me by the wrong name, even several times a day even though I correct them every time.

I think that there is something really wrong with the fact that we have come to know words like dyslexia, ADD, and ADHD, but not this one. I have been made to feel stupid for 24 years at school, at the workplace, even at home because of my inability to understand and execute math.

Why was this never addressed? Why was I not tested for this. Looking back, it is painfully clear to me that I have a learning disability when it comes to math, so why have I never even heard of this?

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