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Protected: I’m a Freak, Maybe?

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Feeling a bit nostalgic today, looking back on my 20-year-old self and the things I was excited about 8 (!) years ago is a bit strange. I feel like I was much more adventurous/independent which makes me feel a bit old. Traveling doesn’t hold as much attraction for me anymore, which probably sounds boring. But! I think part of the reason I love traveling so much was partly to do with searching for somewhere to call home. When I was younger, the possibilities were endless. Should I live in the UK? Should I live in Minnesota or Illinois or any of a million other places?

It is surreal how much someone changes throughout a life. I don’t know 12 or 16 or 20 year old me anymore. I spent a lot of time in my late teens and early 20’s looking for home. I was forever in someone else’s home, surrounded by someone else’s life, confined to one room. I own a house now and it is so wonderful. I can put as many holes in the wall as I goddamn please and I can break all the windows if I felt like it. NOT THAT I WOULD, BUT THE OPTION IS NICE, OKAY.

tl;dr: Life is weird, but I still like Doctor Who. Also, I want to get another tattoo.

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I am watching this mini-series called Stephen Fry in America. In a nutshell he travels around all 50 states and does a whole bunch of stuff he had never done before.
It is a bit like a vlog but infinitely more interesting because it is Stephen Fry. It mostly just serves to illustrate that Stephen Fry could do absolutely anything and I would watch it. Everything he says is so insightful and sounds so lovely. He is so good at talking to people and having conversations. I also feel like it is programs like this that help us to see other people more complexly, which I am so horrible at. Stephen Fry is so adorable and lovely. I love him.


Stephen Fry will you please be my boyfriend? My fiance won’t mind.

Or if that is unsuitable, will you please coach me on how to be a better conversationalist?

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Yesterday was Valentines Day.

As a lady, I find it difficult to know just what to get my man for Valentine’s Day. I think it partly has to do with the fact that most of the V-Days that I have actually participated in have been spent with my current boyfriend and he hates getting gifts. But I can’t just get him nothing, because that’s what I’ve gotten him the past two years, and I can’t just get him the same thing every year, I have to shake things up every now and then.

I also have difficulty with the fact that pretty much everything Valentine-related is marketed as things for men to give to women.

Ultimately I got him a variety of fancy nuts because he will happily eat fancy nuts without complaint due to the fact that he loves them but will not buy them for himself.

Upon arriving home, I presented my fiance with his nuts and as I expected he was quite delighted. He then proceeded to inform me that he had gotten me nothing, not even a card. He offered to go to *Walmart* to get me something but I said no, because I really don’t give a shit about Valentine’s Day, especially since I now have a Valentine for life.

He allowed me to think that he hadn’t gotten me anything for about an hour or two before pulling a big bag from the top of my bookcase where he had stealthily hidden my gifts. He did that to me last year too, he is a sneak.

I got a yoga brick and some absolutely delicious Dove chocolates. He is the King of Valentine’s Day. ūüôā

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I want to write something, but what would I write about?

Maybe about how I’m getting married in 8 months
Or how I quit my job right after we decided to get married
Or how my new job is 100x’s better than my old one
Or how I started doing youtube yoga and absolutely love it


How I’m totally obsessed with tumblr, but I would never actually create an account of my own.¬†I made a twitter once, but never used it. My myspace has lain by the wayside, unused for a few years now, and I barely use facebook. All the same, I love seeing what the internet gets up to. I also love youtube, though I could never seem to get the hang of it myself.
Here are some entertaining tumblrs:
     I love Tyler Oakley and everything he posts, except I like Lady Gaga less than he does
     Hank Greeeen. I love him. He is a vlogbrother. Watch his videos, become a nerdfighter
     John Greeeen. I love him just a little more. Also a vlogbrother. Read his books, watch videos
     Do I need to explain Neil Gaiman? He writes wonderful things.
     I have a big crush on Julia because she is beautiful and writes equally beautiful songs.

Also, I mentioned I’m getting married, right?Image
This is my engagement/wedding ring (Obvs)

This is my fiance (did I mention he is super hot?)

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I just learned that this exists and I am really upset about that because I am 100% certain that I have it. Here is a brief definition for you: 

 Dyscalculia is a specific learning disability involving innate difficulty in learning or comprehending simple arithmetic. It is akin to dyslexia and includes difficulty in understanding numbers, learning how to manipulate numbers, learning maths facts, and a number of other related symptoms

Throughout my life I have always had extreme difficulty learning and understanding math. I was always way behind the rest of the class and it took me many years to get a handle on each lesson. Most of the time I did just well enough to get by. Despite this, I was put in the “advanced” math classes in junior high. I painfully struggled through one year, then the next year I did virtually nothing because there was a big group project, and even then barely squeaked by. I begged my parents to put me in the regular math class and they finally did. Even then, I had a very difficult time, and I am positive that the only reason I even passed my math classes in high school was due to daily tutoring by my sister.

¬†One of the hardest things about this is that I have yet to meet someone who understands what I mean when I say that I cannot do math. I do not mean “I did not do well in math classes”. I mean “I have difficulty with the most very basic math.” You know those methods used by really little kids just learning math like counting on the points of numbers like 2, 3, and 4? Yeah, that is how I count.

Here are some of the symptoms:

  • Difficulty with everyday tasks like reading analog clocks
    I can read analog clocks, but it took me many years to learn. I think it took me until high school to really get this down.
  • Inability to comprehend financial planning or budgeting, sometimes even at a basic level; for example, estimating the cost of the items in a shopping basket or balancing a checkbook
  • Difficulty with multiplication-tables, and subtraction-tables, addition tables, division tables, mental arithmetic, etc.
    Check. I cannot subtract or divide at all.
  • Difficulty with conceptualizing time and judging the passing of time. May be chronically late or early.
    I get around this with routines. ‘I know that it takes me x amount of time to get ready if I do this specific set of things.’
  • Particularly problems with differentiating between left and right
    I know my right from my left but only because I write with my right. I mostly have trouble with this if I am trying to give or receive directions.
  • Might do exceptionally well in a writing related field ‚ÄĒ many authors and journalists have this disorder[citation needed]
  • Difficulty navigating or mentally “turning” the map to face the current direction rather than the common North=Top usage.
  • Having particular difficulty mentally estimating the measurement of an object or distance (e.g., whether something is 10 or 20 feet (3 or 6 metres) away).
  • Often unable to grasp and remember mathematical concepts, rules, formulae, and sequences
    Check. One of my teachers thought that I was trying to give her a hard time because I kept telling her that I didn’t understand.
  • Inability to concentrate on mentally intensive tasks
    I’m not sure that this is supposed to mean so I am not checking it.
  • Low latent inhibition, i.e., over-sensitivity to noise, smell, light and the inability to tune out, filtering unwanted information or impressions. Might have a well-developed sense of imagination due to this (possibly as cognitive compensation to mathematical-numeric deficits)
    I am not sure about this one because I have the ability to tune out my environment to the point where I will not even realize that someone is talking. (Sorry, boyfriend)
  • Mistaken recollection of names. Poor name/face retrieval. May substitute names beginning with same letter
    I have done this, but not often. I know people who have repeatedly called me by the wrong name, even several times a day even though I correct them every time.

I think that there is something really wrong with the fact that we have come to know words like dyslexia, ADD, and ADHD, but not this one. I have been made to feel stupid for 24 years at school, at the workplace, even at home because of my inability to understand and execute math.

Why was this never addressed? Why was I not tested for this. Looking back, it is painfully clear to me that I have a learning disability when it comes to math, so why have I never even heard of this?

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Please, please, please be my Best Friend Forever. I know that I only have a Bachelor’s degree from a liberal arts Christian college. However, on the establishment of our friendship, I am sure that you would find my choice of career a useful compliment to your own. Both attempt to understand human behavior and mental processes. I believe that a friendship would provide a facinating subject for each of our respective fields as well as fulfilling societal obligations.

I anxiously await your response.

April Hoffman

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